Miami Commentary

It's amazing how times flies. This time last week I was sitting at a cafe in South Beach having my second drink while waiting for my breakfast. The atmosphere was relaxing due to exquisite 2-4-1 drinks, a cool breeze and great sites. What more could I have asked for?

After breakfast, which ended well into lunch, we walked around a little bit up and down Ocean Drive. We then decided to drink more and stopped at Wet Willie's for some frozen hell bombs. Hell bombs, you ask? I can't think of another way to describe it. Having already had drinks for breakfast, my judgement was already slightly impaired, so maybe that is why I decided to order a "Triple Play," consisting of three other Willie slushes combined into one. This thing was composed of equal parts "Call A Cab," "Attitude Improvment" and "Sex On the Beach." They used cheap tequilla and some 153 grain alcohol. The shit doesn/t even have a name, it was called "alcohol." That right there should have sent off a red flag, but I was well into trying to be completely bombed by 4PM.

While "enjoying" these slushes, we sat out and watched luxury car after luxury car and beautiful woman after beautiful woman pass us by. SIDE NOTE: Fellas, take your sunglasses. Your eyes are hidden and you can look at all the T&A you want, all while your GF thinks you are looking deeply into her eyes. LOL So anyway, an amazing thing is how a conversation can progress and touch on so many topics while under the influence of alcohol. We talked about relationships, sports, life, music, etc. The most interesting point was when religon and the church became the conversation. I have no idea how we got on the subject but it was, by far, one of the better conversations we had all weekend. I'm not going to go into the details, but it made me think: When you least expect it, God is still around seeing what is going on.

You may think that is "corny" but F.U., LOL. Not very God-like, but the shock value is priceless to me.

Back to the hell-bombs:
So in this drunken stupor, for some reason, I order another "Triple Play." It's official, I am done by 4PM when we decide to take "naps" before we go to dinner and hit the nightlife. We are to meet in the lobby of our hotel at 6PM. Six turns into 9:30 by the time everyone is assembled in the lobby. Apparently, we all thought "nap" meant go into a drunken coma and hope to wake up 2.5 hours later than our arranged meet time.

Because we are all late and just ready to get anything to eat, we decide to eat at our hotel. Maybe the slushies killed every last taste bud I had, but I had the blandest lobster tail possible. Seriously. I could have eaten a sauteed dress sock and it could have more potential. From dinner we decide to hit the club early cause we don't know what to expect from this place and we may need to go elsewhere.

We get to "Mansion" and the place isn't open yet, so we decide to walk down Washington to waste sometime. We end up in a tattoo parlor talking to their piercer while my boy is talking to the tattooist about art for a tat he wanted to get. It just so happens that the piercer is on the Guiness World Book of Records for most consecutive piercings. Apparently, someone wanted 11 consecutive hours worth of piercings. He also had a book of his work and there were some interesting things on display. From big ear piercing to clit hoods & labia, dude did it all. He even did metal placements of bars into people's stomachs. He, himself had 3 balls and 3 bars forming a little ab type layout in his stomach. All held in place by connective tissue. Interesting to say the least and damn near disgusting to say the most.

Back to the club:
The name "Mansion" was a theme held throughout the club. Very nice set-up and one of the coolest things about it is that they played hiphop and house/ techno and everyone just partied like it was "1999." It was a mixed crowd ranging from 55 down to the minimum 21 and everyone was just trying to have a good time. I typically have 2-3 drinks when I am out, but due to my hell-bomb overload earlier, I refrained.

The rest later. This one is getting too long.