O Billy?

I have to admit, I loss a little respect for Billy Clint during the primary, but his speech in Denver restored the faith. I had forgotten how great of a speaker he is. Another thing I had forgotten was how intelligent he is-- a far cry from where we are today.

Need proof? Last night he was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and IMO said some very interesting things:






If you watched both videos, you'll see Stewart make a reference to Clinton's appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman where Clinton had been a guest the night before. I didn't see the entire interview, but apparently Clinton wasn't emphatic enough for some in his praises about Barack Obama.

The next guest on Letterman was Chris Rock.

Sidebar: That is one hell of a line-up. It's almost
like an old time comedy duo. Clinton sets'em up and Rock knocks'em down.

I'd imagine that Rock was on the show promoting his new stand-up special premiering on HBO this Saturday. Well Rock noticed Clinton's apparent aprehension to saying Obama's name and goes in on Clinton. The result: hiliarity!

As you can see Rock was not concerned with the Secret Service being in the close vacinity.

You're a Palin, I'm a Palin

Don't you wish you could be a Palin too?

On the heels of Tina Fey absolutely killing her Palin impression on SNL, I came across (via Marketing Profs on Twitter) this blog that generates names as if you were one of Palin's children.

I'm happy to announce that I will be changing my name to Mullet Troll Palin on November 5 if the McCain-Palin ticket wins.

If you are also interesting in potentially joining the family, check it out here:

http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

Side Bar: I DVR'd the episode because I was interested in seeing how Michael Phelps would do. Last season SNL opened with LeBron James and he was hilarious. They also did a skit about Kanye and his blow ups on award shows featuring Kanye playing himself. Anyway, except for the interviews post winning a gold medal when emotions are running high, it appears that Phelps is not comfortable behind a mic. I wanted to see if Phelps looked awkward trying to act. The Palin skit seems to just be the icing on the cake! I haven't seen the rest of the episode yet, so have to post my thoughts later this week on Phelps performance.

Until then: Viva la MILF-a!

Fruits of Labor... Literally!

This is for "fromSC" Jr. and "Tater Tot"-

Welcome to the world young lads. You are extremely lucky to be sent from Heaven and delivered to your wonderful parents!



"from SC" Jr.

What's happening little nephew? Even though I haven't gotten the chance to meet you since your entrance, I can say that I have seen you. The problem is I had to stare at the sonogram for a long time before I could see where you were in the image. If I were Superman (a cool dude, you will idolize at some point in your life, down to your underwear- literally) I would have been able to see you through your mom's stomach, but alas, my powers do not extend that far.

Anyway, let me tell you a little about me. Despite what any of your other uncles will tell you, I will be the coolest of them all. Your cousin "Big Jr." will be as cool, but he isn't an uncle so I stand alone in the #1 uncle category. And watch out for Uncle Teazy, he's a trouble maker.

Before I end this, just wanted to let you know that I look forward to meeting you and your parents have already told me that you will be by to visit. So in many ways, we have to be cool. Just know that I will watch out for you like my own and check you when you are out of line. On the good side, I'll also be able to tell you all about your wonderful parents from a different perspective *wink*! Actually, disregard that because then they will want to tell you a bunch of lies about me. I can tell you now, they are just that LIES! I'm as innocent as you are now. It's a hard job, but someone on this planet had to do it. Fortunately for you, it's your uncle.

Seriously though, welcome to the world. There's a lot to this place. If you think the delivery is hard, you haven't seen anything yet. My advice to you is listen to your parents regardless of what it may seem, they have your best interest at heart! Enjoy your youth, because as soon as you are potty trained and can walk and talk, your dad is going to make you get a job.

Look forward to seeing you!

P.S.- Be nice to the Honda, it will be yours one day. If you treat it nicely, she'll be good to you later. Trust me, you will want this!



Tater Tot


First things first, you are a Ravens fan. Realize that there is no choice in this. If you try to like anyone other that the Ravens, you will be sent to work in the Redskins sweatshop. This is the place where they send all of the bad little boys who have shown no loyalty to their hometown team. Trust me, it's bad! There's this guy named Daniel Snyder and he is the worst. He steals candy from babies and clubs baby seals in his spare time. His "day job" has something to do with dressing up as a big lizard and crushing Toyko. It's ridiculous how evil the guy is, so love the Ravens and you'll never have to worry. Sorry to start off so negatively, but I wanted to let you know what the stakes were before you got to deep into this thing called life.

Now to the good. You have some really cool parents. I used to work with your mom until she abandoned me by going to a much cooler, more intelligent and employee-friendly company. In all truthfullness if she didn't leave, I would have tried to get her fired. The opportunity was too good to pass up, but it's sounds like a more interesting story when I say she abandoned me. Anyway, when we did work together, your mom and I spent a lot of time at conventions. Some of them were good and some of them were umm... uhh... they sucked. I tried to think of putting a better spin on it, but they did. There are two important things you need to know about this: Marketing 101 and Fat Tire.

Marketing 101 was the catch phrase that some of our "beloved" co-workers used to tell us at some of the coneventions. Apparently, we somehow missed this class when we were in college and two of our colleagues were "helping us out" by teaching us the basic principles. The funny part- neither one of them probably even knew how to spell the word. But, who am I to judge?

Fat Tire. I could probably tell you a couple stories about what it is, but I'm sure you'll learn one day when you get sent to the fridge to get mommy and daddy's "bottle." It won't have the same "formula" that you will be drinking, but it's nourishing just the same. Just remember you can't have any until you turn 16, but I'd advise you not to say anything to your parents until at least five years later down the line. Until then, listen to your parents and make sure they send me all of your pictures.


Disclaimer for the idiots who can't read through the sarcasm: Obviously, the bad things are jokes people! These two sets of parents are wonderful people and I am extremely happy for the both of them. I wish them as much happiness today and always as the day you met each other and your children.

Parents just remember that if you need me for anything, call me. But not until they are potty trained. My one goal in life is to never change a diaper. Well, not until I'm the one wearing them.

Love you all,

Scotch

EDIT: An interesting sidebar: Both little gents have the same name and were named after the same respecitve person.

Also, I want to shout out my other little nephew "Karate" Jr. He was born in April and I wasn't actively posting back then. Shouts out to you! Next time I am in your city, you and I are going to kick it! And congrats on being 5 months old next week.