Scotch Files: Where You Been Pt. II

I was reviewing the last list that I posted and figured that I needed to update the list.

The past 5 weeks I have been to:

NYC
St. Paul, MN
Vegas
Orlando (again)


Which leads me to a list (in no particular order) of pet peeves I have when flying:

1. I believe the reclining option of all seats should be discountinued. There is nothing more annoying that trying to use the tray table to get some work done or watch a movie then, the next thing you know you are staring at the top of someone's head. I try not to mind when a person takes their chair back one notch, but I hate being forced into a clusterphobic state when all of the room in front of me has been eliminated by the passenger in front of me.

2. Baggage Claim usually shows just how stupid people can get. I never understand why people stand on top (damn near literally) of the belt waiting for their bags. It gets to the point where if you are not right up on it yourself, you can't even see your bag. If people were smart, they would take two steps BACK so that everyone could see the belt. Then when you see your bag, you step up and grab it. How hard is that? There are some smart individuals in this world, but when you get people in groups, I swear they lose the little bit of intelligence they did have. Then folks wonder why we have an idiot for President.

3. Upon landing and the captain turning the seatbelt off, everyone jumps up like they have a chance to get off the plane first if they do. Huh? Common sense to idiot- You are on the 20th row! There is no need to jump up like a Leper touched your foot. Now granted, people have connections to make and sometimes you do need to get your OJ on, but I never get the feeling to rush off the plane only to go stand downstairs at the baggage claim for the next 30 minutes until you get your bags.

4. In one of the meal boxes you can buy on United flights, there is a can of tuna fish. United please remove it from the box. There is nothing worse than being on a 5-hour flight next to someone who just ate a can of tuna fish. It's the only time I ever wanted to use the vomit bag!

One time both of the people on my row got the tuna box. Here I am stuck at the window wishing I could somehow open it to get some fresh air without crashing the plane. Actually, crashing it might be the better choice. And I say this with all the humor in the world (Got that Mr. CIA/FBI/Homeland Security man watching what I am typing). The point is in a small space with lilmited "fresh" air, why serve something so aromatic as tuna?

5. People still complaining about flying in a post-911 world are pretty stupid. Of course it is a pain to have to almost strip down to your underwear, but what would you rather have happen? Another hijack attempt by some idiot trying to crash the plane by setting fire to his big toe or some type of safety standards to at least catch the dumbest of the terrorist network? And yes, we all hear the stories about how certain banned items got through, but tell me what process is a 100% all the time. The worst part is some idiots act surprised when they are told they can't travel with certain items.

TRUE STORY: A co-worker of mine had the pleasure of standing behind an idiot who was apparently also a ninja. This dude had nunchucks (sp?) and ninja stars in his carry-on and couldn't figure out why they were illegal? This is why we have laws- to protect the idiots from themselves! The "ninja" thought it was okay because he was a trained professional. Newsflash! The terrorists didn't learn how to fly by watching Soulplane!!! (Note: Obviously the movie came out after the attacks, but you get the point.) And if you noticed, I added the emphasis to ninja the second time because I seriously have to question his qualifications. I thought the first step to being a ninja was being stealth. Looks like this guy thought it was STUPID!

6. On the other side to #5 is the randomness of how certain items are deemed okay and others are not. I have a co-worker who does a lot fo arts & crafts. She is allowed to bring a small pair of scissors on the plane, yet it is still forbidden to bring nail clippers? I know that I am not a "ninja" and I am sure the Dept. of Homeland Security is smarter than me, but doesn't this seem a little backwards? Not even a little? Theoretically speaking (another disclaimer for the govt.), isn't it easier to assualt someone with scissors than a nail clipper? How exactly could I take over a plane with nail clippers? Would I have to convince the flight attendants that they should let me do their nails at which point I cut the nail so high that it begins to bleed? Then by default, they would all be in so much plane that I could head to the cockpit. Hell, by the time I did all of that, the next thing I would hear is, "Seatbelts fastened folks. We are now disending upon our destination." Then I would be thinking, "DAMN! I guess I would have to wait until my flight back to actually accomplish my mission." I know terrorists are patient, but I don't think any of them are that patient!



I am sure there are a few more. The next time I am in the airport, I am going to have to remember to write a list.

Scotch Files: Random Hits

Dumb Man X

There was a time when DMX was on top of the world. This dude released two albums in the same year that went number. I believe it was the first time in history that it happened. That was about 10 years ago. Everyone knew the guy was troubled, but I really think he has lost his mind. For the millionth time in what seems like a month, DMX was again involved in a traffic related incident. This time it was because he was driving on the shoulder to avoid traffic. The sad part is, he was just issued a ticket 9 days ago for driving 55 in a 30 MPH zone.

What in the hell is the matter with this dude? How much of an idiot can you be? According to an article on allhiphop.com, this is the 7th incident he has had since 2000. At some point someone needs to tell him that driving isn’t his friend. This is like watching a fly trying to get outside by going through a closed window. You sit there and watch and wonder if this isn’t the dumbest display of life you could ever see. In defense of the fly, it’s a fly. What is DMX’s excuse? The sad part is taking his license and having him subsequently honor it is like Bush acknowledging that there is a Constitution. Some things will never happen. In this case who would have ever guessed that Bush and DMX had so much in common?


Harpo Taking A Beating?

The wonderful and highly acclaimed Oprah has been taking a beating lately in the HipHop community. She has been accused of hating on the culture and the music more specifically. The uproar really started with Ludacris and his appearance on Oprah’s show along with the cast of the movie “Crash.” Apparently, Oprah kind of went off on Luda for some of his more disparaging rap lyrics. Luda says the footage was edited to include many of Oprah’s remarks but few of his responses. Sounds like the same thing Dylan (The “Hot Fire” Spitter) said about P. Diddy about the infamous kicking out of Diddy’s crib.

It should be noted that Luda did not speak on his appearance out of the blue. He recently appeared in GQ where the writer mentioned that Luda got a raw deal from Oprah. To which Luda responded with his remarks about being an actor on the show for his appearance in “Crash,” but being asked about his other occupation as a rapper. Again, this sounds like something else I heard before. Anybody remember Luda vs. Bill O’Reilly and the whole Pepsi episode. I wouldn’t have pegged Oprah to share that view with O’Reilly, but I can’t say I am surprised.

I guess the most impressive and potentially disrespectful thing is how much press this issue is garnering. Ice Cube in FHM magazine shared the same sentiments as Ludacris. The difference is, Cube never even made it to the show. He wasn’t even invited, but other cast members of the movie “Barbershop” were. Something doesn’t seem right about one of the stars and more importantly, the producer of the film not being invited to a publicity event for his movie. The one thing I hope people don’t lose sight of though, is that the general media is soaking this story up. That is where things could get ugly.

I have no problem with rappers speaking their opinion on the lack of respect Oprah shows HipHop. I happen to agree wholeheartedly. What I really don’t want to see is a role model to so many on so many different levels (Oprah) being dragged down by the ignorance that permeates through HipHop these days. I know some of you are wondering if I just contradicted myself. I am not. Being so ingrained into the Hiphop culture I have no problem admitting that ignorance is carrying HipHop right now. My problem with Oprah is that she seems to be lumping everyone into one small monolithic ball. There are a bunch of artists that are fighting the stereotypical hustla, drug dealing, thug that is killing radio and video outlets. If she really wants to show HipHop some love, it seems to me that she would invite folks on the show and start the debate. There is no doubt that she is one of the most influential women of our time, maybe even history. How about helping rather than ignoring the folks that are trying to “get it right, get it tight.” And I don’t mean in a “Miss New Booty” type of way.

Come on Oprah, save us the Stedman and Gail stories for a day and give people like Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Dead Prez, The Coup, Immortal Technique, and countless others the platform to shine and kill rumors that we are all thugs, pimps and drug dealers. Especially with the demographic you cater to. I don’t see how it couldn’t go down as monumental. HipHop is everwhere and is selling every product known to man right now. It affects everyone even if they don't consciously realize it.


Karl Rove got off?
SHOCKER!!!


Hailing Hitler?

So it looks like everyone’s favorite hero, Adolph Hitler is going to be getting a museum. Crazy right? The funny thing is, the guy putting it together thinks everyone else is crazy. We all know that history has a way of spinning things to be what they sometimes are/were not. I think the saying goes, history is written by the winner of the war. So there is a small possibility that Hitler caught a bad rap for a few things, but I hesitant to be naïve enough to really think that Hitler is getting completely screwed by the actions that are synonymous with his name. I believe there is even footage of some of his speeches where he “eloquently” delivers his agenda. This should come as no surprise to anyone. Wasn’t Hitler the one who hated the very thing he was? Why should his followers be any less delusional?


The Ghost of Katrina? Or is it the Ghost of Ignorance?
Note: This is an initial reaction that I will probably address again in another post.


By now everyone knows that FEMA dropped the ball on their response to Katrina. Now comes news of a BILLION dollars worth of aid going to fraudulent and irresponsible claims. According to reports, people bought everything from champagne to a Hawaiian vacation with monies intended to help people rebuild their lives post-Katrina. Someone even used $1,000 of their money to get a sex change! A sex change? You have to be shitting me!

I understand that people went through one hell of a traumatic ordeal, but come on people, how can you justify this? I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. These are probably the same people who were looting electronic stores talking about, "This is for all I had to go through!" Then people wonder why the government isn't as proactive as it can be. So now the good people that lived and almost died due to Katrina, have to endure another round of finger pointing because a group of idiots thought the aid money was essentially like winning the lottery. I don't know of another way to put this than to call it some pure "n&*^a shit!" Don't think for a second that that leaves any white people free of guilt. My white friends would simply refer to it as "white trashish!"

Take a second and read the list of things that have been bought with the aid money. Maybe I am just stupid to believe it could all be true. This has to be on even kiel with all the money Bush has wasted on the frivilous war in Iraq. No wonder gas is so high. The government has to recoup all that money they lost. Hell, no wonder they still haven't built most of the city back up. I think I would be slow on the draw as well.


Lastly, I doubt that they will ever see this, but:

My condolences and thoughts go out to my man Shorty Corleone and all his family as they mourn the death of their brother and friend Q!